صفحة خاصة بالإنجليزية

[toulay]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة ♥*رتاج القران*♥

ارجوا من الاستاذ المحترم ان يعطيني رايه بفقرتي وبكل صراحة

Last weekend we decided to go an a picnic. I went with my friends we started to collect the money to buy the food and the drinks; we went there by one my friends’ car. We started our journey early in the morning. The trip took half on hour. We arrived there at nine o’clock.
Suddenly the weather over turned. The sky turned dark, a storm blew and heavy rain poured. We couldn’t get out of our room. We spent most of the day placing cards, watching T.V and listening to the songs. In the evening we collected our belonging and drove back to the city.
We arrived to the city. Every one went to his house. We were so un happy because we couldn’t swim or play on the beach. I hope that weather will be fine next time. We arranged to have another picnic next month.

Peace be upon you
I'm not a teacher,but I tried to evaluate your paragraph

Last weekend, my friends and I decided to go on a picnic. we started to collect money ,to buy food and drinks.
in the early morning, our journey began and the trip took half an hour. .
Suddenly, the weather over turned. The sky turned dark, a storm blew and it stardted raining heavily . We couldn’t get out of the room. We spent most of the day placing cards, watching T.V and listening to the songs. In the evening ,we packed our bags and went back to the city.
as we arrived , Every one of us went home. my friends and I were not happy with that picnic ,because we couldn’t swim or go to the beach. I hope that the weather will be lovely next time so as to have another picnic next month.



while reading your paragraph,I tried to correct the mistakes
I'm going to tell you how I did to evaluate your paragraph
first of all,you said we decided tell me who decided,then you mentioned you have planned to go on picnic with your friends
so you have to mention the subject first then you can replace it
the sentence became my friend and I decided.....till the period

moreover,why the money,the food,and the drinks
say directly money ,food and drinks
as well,try to respect punctuation it's very important

hope I helped you
BEST OF LUCK