help me please

[radia rara]

hello everybody,how are you ?
can i write a paragraph here to correct it ?
thank u.

[جنة الفردوسْ]

Hi, i'm fine hmd...what's about you???....... yes you can write then i'm going to correct it

[radia rara]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة جنة الفردوسْ

Hi, i'm fine hmd...what's about you???....... yes you can write then i'm going to correct it

hello,i'm good ,thank you,this is my simple paragraph,please give me some observations and a note .

The telephone is very usefull invention,it has many advantages for people .
First,we can call any one in any space and at any time.
Second,the telephone has a lot of particularities like the time and the date,games,take photos,vedios,awakening ,calculator that they help us.
Third,it can aid people specially in the hard problems .
Finally,the telephone is very necessary and favorable,so we must profit to it.

[جنة الفردوسْ]

Hi, Radia i like your paragraph and i've added some ideas
The telephone is defined as a device for transmitting and receiving sounds over long distances ,it's very usefull invention since it has many advantages for people .
First, one of the most important advantage of telephone is we can call any one in any space and at any time.
Second,the telephone has different options like the time and the date,games,take photos,videos,awakening ,calculator or checking dictionary that they help us.
Third, it allows us access to the internet to watch Film, check our profile in social networks and update our status wherever we are.
Finally,the telephone is very necessary and favorable, so we must benefit from it

[radia rara]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة جنة الفردوسْ

Hi, Radia i like your paragraph and i've added some ideas
The telephone is defined as a device for transmitting and receiving sounds over long distances ,it's very usefull invention since it has many advantages for people .
First, one of the most important advantage of telephone is we can call any one in any space and at any time.
Second,the telephone has different options like the time and the date,games,take photos,videos,awakening ,calculator or checking dictionary that they help us.
Third, it allows us access to the internet to watch Film, check our profile in social networks and update our status wherever we are.
Finally,the telephone is very necessary and favorable, so we must benefit from it

Nice,thanks a lot miss : )
you really help me,God bless you.

[toulay]

Hello
Thank you Jannah for your precious help
Your answer will be chosen as the best one
To be closed
Good luck