I was playing a game which is RolePlay = like the real life, So to join a faction you need to apply, So when I was writing my application they found grammar mistakes I cant found them please help me.
These are the two sections which they have found mistakes on them:
Hello, My name is Kawa Nadir, I'm 25 years old , I was born on 4 January 1990 in Los Santos All-Saint Hospital, I was and I still living alone in Jefferson Motel, My father's name is Akram Kawa, He was a Los Santos police department member, And my mother's name is Alicia, She was a San Andreas National Guard member, my parents were working hard to make me happy, And make me legal man too who love's his country, In 2000 I was watching TV with my parents I saw there too many stuffs about the Medical, Then At that time I imagined I'm Medical Guy.
In the age of the 20 I Got my diploma, And I was searching for a job at that moment, My first job was a Bodyguard, People really need vests for protection, But in the last years I noticed a lot of things which were negative, Deaths and kills, The gang wars become bigger,The Police can not arrest all the robbers, It was the Saddest year in Los Santos, The paramedic does not answer to the 911 calls, They won't risk their lives to save Those who need help (injured guys), After 3 days I joined Taxi company, And after a month of working there I leave it because they haven't given me my paycheck, After few months I become a Lawyer, All prisoners was loving me because I'm working with cheapest prices, And I do all my best to free the Oppressed from the jail.
In the age of the 23 I Got permission from the LSPD to sell legal weapons like the Colt 45, But That job wasn't A good job for me because nobody buys light weapon, So here I Rejoined the Taxi Company, And there I met new new members who loves me and loves their job, But unfortunately they all leave the Company, After 3 days I do the same, I leave Taxi Company too, That is the reason for my deciding to apply for the SAFMD after a few days.
My Personality: I'm a very friendly and helpful guy, I am someone who can be trusted, I'm active, A good citizen, Comedian guy, I hate to be lazy, I respect people, I don't like insulting people, I Carry orders commander, I'm legal man, simple guy.
and here too
I want to join the SAFMD because it is my dream in my life, And the SAFMD is the most joined faction in San Andreas, My friends Hadi Trache and Adel Med Trache has invited me to join this faction, But it was not the only reason, From few days ago I have seen Medical Department Save guys from dying around Los Santos And the Fire Department Put out the fire from many places around Los Santos too And the last one was Saving the LSPD Headquarters of combustion, I liked their job, And now I'm applying for it, And I hope That you can accept me in your faction.
( تقرير عن مشاركة سيئة )، و الموجودة أسفل كل مشاركة .
2015-02-05, 18:29
Can you help me please?
العرض العادي
