Short funny stories - الصفحة 2

SuperMarket · 2014-01-28, 10:21

Onions and Garlic

Long ago there lived two brothers. Joshua and
Eli. They lived on a farm and were very poor.
Joshua worked hard ever day. Eli was lazy and
didn’t like to work.
One day, Joshua heard of a kingdom far away.
This kingdom didn’t have onions! Hmmmm,
thought Joshua. If I could sell them onions,
they’d pay a lot of money!
He asked to see the king and was granted an audience. Joshua told the king about the onions
and the king was curious. He invited Joshua to make a big feast with many dishes prepared
with onions.
That evening, the king and his guests tasted the dishes. Everyone agreed, the onion made
everything taste so much better! The king smiled from ear to ear. He said to Joshua, “These
onions are the most precious thing in my kingdom. In return for them, I will give you their
equal weight in the most precious thing I have – diamonds.” Joshua was instantly rich and
returned to his village with a wagon full of diamonds.
Joshua shared his wealth but his brother Eli was still very jealous. He asked Joshua if this
kingdom has garlic. Joshua thought and said, “In fact, they don’t have any garlic.”
Hmmmm, thought Eli. If I could sell them garlic, I’d be very rich indeed. Garlic is much
tastier than onions.
Eli traveled to the kingdom as his brother had done. Just like Joshua, he got an audience with
the king and made a feast. And just like Joshua, the king declared garlic the most precious
thing in his kingdom. It was a big hit! The king said, “ I will give you their equal weight in
the most precious thing in my kingdom.”
Here you are – Onions!

SuperMarket · 2014-01-28, 10:24

Biscuits
One day, while my friend and I were traveling through Germany, we were very hungry
but we didn't have a lot of money. We decided to stop at a village market to get a few
groceries. I chose some biscuits and went to the front counter to pay. Near the counter I
saw some packaged biscuits in a large bin. They looked good and were a lot cheaper
than the ones I had in my hand, so I took them instead.
We left the store and looked for a place where we could eat. We found a quiet place
under a tree and we ate our sandwiches first, and then the biscuits. We thought they
were great.
"Let's get these again," I said. "They're cheap and they really taste good."
My friend can read some German, but I can't, so I gave her the package so she could
look for the brand name. She looked at it and then started to laugh.
"Why are you laughing?" I asked.
"Because they're dog biscuits!" she said.

SuperMarket · 2014-01-28, 10:25

The Bank Job

When I first started working in a bank in the center of the city, I was always afraid
someone might rob me. I was behind bulletproof glass, but the alarm buttons always
reminded me that someone could rob me. We had secret signals that changed every day,
and there was an automatic alarm that rang when the last money came out of my
drawer.
Sure enough, one day a man I thought looked suspicious entered the bank. He walked
by the other tellers to come to me. I thought he knew I didn't have much experience. He
put his hand into his pocket, pulled out a note, and put it under the teller Pane. I was
very scared, dropped down under the counter, and hit the alarm button.
The guards came and held the man. Then I read the note. It said, "Would you have
lunch with me?"