hey ! chek my poem

[روح قسنطينة]

LOL ! u r so funny buddy

[Yùceef]

LoL ur a GiiRl ! with Sasuke's Pic on ur profil

[روح قسنطينة]

but this is not my profile

[~صادقة~]

حبذاا لو كانت قصيدتك تحمل رسالة مفيدة

ستكون اجمل

[روح قسنطينة]

but it has a sense
it's an apology

[Yùceef]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة روح قسنطينة

but this is not my profile

Oups o.O !

[~~ أنون ~~]

so good
you have a great talent
keep shining bro
peace

[سجودي لرب العالمين]

Hello
In ur poem I liked the three first lines , I didn't like the expression of 'I just wanna spew' u could use more touching expression like ' so gloomy and I don't know what's the clue''
Also the expression of ' as bad as my shoe' I didn't like it maybe u can use '' knew that I was tottaly out of control

The last line u cannot use two models for the same verb , u use shall and can for the verb ''do'' so u can say what shall a little girl do or u use can instead of shall
And we say like a dirty not like dirty
Check not chek
Good job friend , hope u the best

[روح قسنطينة]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة ~~ أنون ~~

so good
you have a great talent
keep shining bro
peace

thnx buddy
hhhh n i'm a girl not boy
u can call me sis

[روح قسنطينة]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة sara soso

Hello
In ur poem I liked the three first lines , I didn't like the expression of 'I just wanna spew' u could use more touching expression like ' so gloomy and I don't know what's the clue''
Also the expression of ' as bad as my shoe' I didn't like it maybe u can use '' knew that I was tottaly out of control

The last line u cannot use two models for the same verb , u use shall and can for the verb ''do'' so u can say what shall a little girl do or u use can instead of shall
And we say like a dirty not like dirty
Check not chek
Good job friend , hope u the best

thnx a lot for ur remarks n ur opinions i'll try working with it next time
peace

[سجودي لرب العالمين]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة روح قسنطينة

thnx a lot for ur remarks n ur opinions i'll try working with it next time
peace

inshaAllah

[روح قسنطينة]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة sara soso

inshaAllah

yeap insh'ALLAH
thnx again sis
ur English is very good i like it
? r u a bac student or what

[Kawaii09]

I like the peom, but you made a tiny mistake at the end, you can't say "what shall ..sb can do) it's either shall or can, you can't use both of 'em at the same time
nicely done though^^

[روح قسنطينة]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Kawaii09

I like the peom, but you made a tiny mistake at the end, you can't say "what shall ..sb can do) it's either shall or can, you can't use both of 'em at the same time
nicely done though^^

thnx sweety
yeah ! i know i'll try 2 work with ur remark next time
thnx again