the begining of my short story

[Karim_Rap_4_life]

Lamar come down son we’ve been waiting for you, let’s take a trip with daddy and lil Sunny. LA is amazing isn’t it, it’s strange this boy; I bet that he’s not ok with the move I told you I told you we need to construe before doing that look how the situation is going on god help me please to secure my lil child. That’s words of my Mammy she’s An average brown Woman aged 47 years old talking to my daddy about their old son Lamar whose age 18 years old he’s brown too. Our little family originated from Detroit city one of the poorest cities In Michigan where there are many unemployed workers due to the poor situation there. daddy decided to move from there and reside in some active city and LA was the choice the most prominent industrial city and the second largest city in USA, the first one in California state. I always wished to be in California Cities and this doesn’t mean that I hate Detroit even if the hard situation in the Neighborhood but I was always having fun there with a homeboy called Jimmy, I called him “Lil biggie” due to his Fabulous lyrics a Rap genius was a Nigga and you know how it goes with Niggaz in the hood straight balling, doing the most funniest staffs that youths could never have in other anyplace . Playing Basketball, Rapping all time I always wonder why Jimmy was not on the street fame. He was a genius a Rap machine he was chubby just like Biggie I was always calling him Lil Biggie, we got so much rivalry with foes then they were being jealous coz they never got a friend like me or Jimmy.

Jimmy’s mother was died when he was lil child he lived in his grand mother’s home, when he was 16 years old she died living him her small home to live in. Skipping college to work as mechanic assistant to get some money. Everything were sweet at the time but not as soon as he got murdered from a street gang band. A real hard days for me I could not accept the absence of my only friend. I decided to revenge, I applied plans for the vengeance “they were ready to die and I was ready to kill”. I got fights with that cowards I smashed them one by one in one night cause them a real fright. It was easy coz I was a kick boxing fan, supporter and I did get some exercises and training in our old garage with Jimmy. You see every station in my life was related to Jimmy when He was gone, my life was gone too.

………………………..where Jimmy and me were a students everybody loved us except few we were famous figures on the theatre stage and Music I used to play Guitar, Piano for a while I wanted to work with Mario Winas, Marques Houston but It was only a dream. Jimmy was golden piece of Comedy he used to talk jokes on every body even me and through Summer vacations boys and girls classmates and college mates always mail and send him letters some of them visit him home. We were invited to every holiday party, every birthday. Ashley a very cute girl that he knew ever there was a real love relationship between them, She committed a suicide after the sad event. I was really sorry for her too coz she was one of our close friends. Jimmy was troublesome in one hand and in another hand he was romantic.

Daddy thought that whenever I’m in Detroit I would not be fine. he proposed a move for two causes his work and my safety, I was ready for every suggestion he want me to do. It seems normal because no body would replace Jimmy neither in Detroit nor in any other city. My phone rings every minute friends that used to hang with us wanted to get me out with them trying to make me happy again and I appreciated their efforts. I preferred staying home instead as well I stopped playing Music, coz everything was dark and disgusting. Life in LA is much expensive and too different from Detroit and our family is an average one but Pablo one of my daddy’s old friend became a successful business man He proposed a financial help lend us his empty house in LA that man is real millionaire.
A few days later we moved to LA when we stopped at the aimed hood where the new house is, I notice a new vision of life a wide streets and beautiful white houses with grey roofs the type of houses I dreamt to live in I was very happy for that. It was early in the morning when our “Moving out” tracks arrived we begun to get the furniture into the new house an hour past and some new shiny figures started to appear and walk by sweet girls walking beside so cute so attractive they smiled at me and I smiled back too. It was clear that I was new comer some ones propose to help and I said thank you a few minutes left and the work will be done I heard sweat nice voice saying Hi ……… to be continued

[Black_Poison]

Congratulations for the story
there abseloutly is no doubt about you tallent
this was fantastic fabulous and somtimes sad
i enjoyed reading it to the last word
Lamar and Jimmy real frienship that last forever
it's hard to find it these days
i was really sad about what happened to Jimmy
he was a great guy
and about A****ey too
but sometimes pain can be stronger than life itself

i like Lamar's attitude taking revenge from the bad guys
and this line :“they were ready to die and I was ready to kill”

reflects an angry hopeless strong vengful person who has nothing to lose

it reminds me of someone

and ilke that behind the scene you are showing that living in USA
is so hard not like what people think
and especially in poor cities where all sort of evil is widespread
i

this will make a great movie
still waiting for the next parts
i reseved a seat to be a follower
i would really like to hear what happend next
till then
my best wishes

[Karim_Rap_4_life]

It is really nice to see someone read that I was hopeless when I saw no one liked to read it than I stopped writing that short story czo I found no encouragement thank you Fadwa it's really nice. I'll start writing it again then I'll send it to in private ok

[miss.cool]

aaaaah omg i feel like im watchin a movie

then that to e continued came

plzzz bro continue
i want the rest


awesome terrific amazing adorable
............. story

u got talent period!!p

loved it loved it

i was about to cry readin that jimmy died
too bad

[amel nina]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Karim_Rap_4_life

It is really nice to see someone read that I was hopeless when I saw no one liked to read it than I stopped writing that short story czo I found no encouragement thank you Fadwa it's really nice. I'll start writing it again then I'll send it to in private ok

I think this section is not visited too much by members that's why it's hard to find replies to your topic


all you have to do is to wait for them, cuz sooner or later they'll see it and post a comment


+++++++++++++++++++


and as miss.cool said it's

awesome terrific amazing adorable
............. story

this is what I really feel about the story



waiting passionately for the next part

[Karim_Rap_4_life]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة miss.cool

aaaaah omg i feel like im watchin a movie

then that to e continued came

plzzz bro continue
i want the rest


awesome terrific amazing adorable
............. story

u got talent period!!p

loved it loved it

i was about to cry readin that jimmy died
too bad

Ha Ha Ha Sara nice to see you reading it. You know I am really in need of you as an audience to tell me whether the scenes are perfect or not.
Crying mean that you're sensitive I promise you'll cry really when you read the next parts suffering in LA and the accident that make him banned to see the girl.........

[Karim_Rap_4_life]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة amel nina

I think this section is not visited too much by members that's why it's hard to find replies to your topic


all you have to do is to wait for them, cuz sooner or later they'll see it and post a comment


+++++++++++++++++++


and as miss.cool said it's






this is what I really feel about the story



waiting passionately for the next part

of course I am waiting but the most needed is
Amel Nina
Rola
Black Poison
Miss Cool
Jimmy Rap soldier
Hillin
an some few
these people make publish my works that's all

I promised I'll do my best to prepare the next parts .
thank you bezaaaaaaaaaaaffffff

[whoseen]

[IMG][/IMG]

[miss.cool]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Karim_Rap_4_life

Ha Ha Ha Sara nice to see you reading it. You know I am really in need of you as an audience to tell me whether the scenes are perfect or not.
Crying mean that you're sensitive I promise you'll cry really when you read the next parts suffering in LA and the accident that make him banned to see the girl.........

the scenes bro r perfect more than perfect
eeeuh im soopaaaaaa exciyed to read the rest
make it quick plzzzzzzz


peace

[Black_Poison]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Karim_Rap_4_life

It is really nice to see someone read that I was hopeless when I saw no one liked to read it than I stopped writing that short story czo I found no encouragement thank you Fadwa it's really nice. I'll start writing it again then I'll send it to in private ok

No need to thank me
unless i'm lost outside i'll be here to support
just don't stop writing okay

[Karim_Rap_4_life]

As you like Friend