Q. What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?
A. Swimming trunks.
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Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?
A. An umbrella.
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Q. What disappears when you stand up?
A. Your lap.
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Q. What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
A. My pop is bigger than yours.
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Q. What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
A. You are too little to smoke.
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Q. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A. A doctopus!
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Q. Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
A. Because she wanted to test the waters!
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Q. Why did the belt go to jail?
A. Because it held up a pair of pants!
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Q. What is the center of gravity?
A. The letter V!
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Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A. Stick with me and we will go places!
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Q. What sort of star is dangerous?
A. A shooting star!
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Q. Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A. He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
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Q. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
A. Flood lights!
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Q. What do computers do when they get hungry?
A. They eat chips!
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Q. Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
A. Because they're all in High School!
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Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A. "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
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Q. Which month do soldiers hate most?
A. The month of March!
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Q. What did the painter say to the wall?
A. One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
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Q. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
A. In case they get a hole in one!
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Q. What did the the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on a head, I'll just hang around