How can you miss me if I don't go away?
*****
I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait.
*****
Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
*****
Have you ever noticed anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
****
I'm not here right now and I regret to say that due to unforseen circumstances, later has been cancelled.
****
Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored.
****
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
****
I can't talk on the computer now, so if, well, actually, I CAN talk on the computer now, I mean, like, I'm at the computer NOW, writing this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're reading it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're reading it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.
****
The statement below is True.
The statement above is False.
Which statement is correct?
****
Since history never stops, when does the future begin?
****
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
****
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
****
The early bird may get the worm, but the late rising worm lives.
****
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird. Think about it!
****
Did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...
And 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
****
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
****
When people say "Expect the unexpected," doesn't that mean the unexpected is expected?
****
Isn't it scary to know what doctors do for a living is called "practice"?
****
Why is it that when something is sent in a car, it's called a shipment, yet when it's sent in a ship, it's called cargo?
****
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?
****
If psychics know the winning lottery numbers why are they still working?
****
To the crazy man, the normal person is insane.
****
If repetition is the key to learning, and repetition is a sign of stupidity, does that make learning stupid?
****
If you try to fail but you succeed, which have you done?
****
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
****
I hope u like em
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